‘PLEASE KILL ME’

John Oliver Unloads on Megyn Kelly’s ‘Pedophile Math’

“Look, I am clearly no stranger to sharing upsetting numbers with my audience...” the “Last Week Tonight” host quipped.

John Oliver tore into Megyn Kelly for making “perhaps the boldest attempt” at damage control for President Donald Trump in the wake of Wednesday’s release of thousands of emails from the late Jeffrey Epstein.

Oliver replayed the moment from Kelly’s SiriusXM show when she tried to parse the definition of pedophilia, and in the process disclosed that she knew “somebody very, very close to this case who is in a position to know virtually everything” related to the Epstein scandal.

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“Yeah, that clip starts with I know someone who’s super in the middle of all the Epstein s--t, and it somehow gets sketchier from there,” Oliver said on Sunday’s season finale of HBO’s Last Week Tonight.

The clip continued with Kelly explaining that, according to her source Epstein was not a “pedophile” because he “was into the barely legal type. Like, he liked 15-year-old girls.”

Except that 15-year-old girls cannot consent, it’s not legal for adults to have sex with them, and many of Epstein’s victims claimed they were raped by either him or his clientele in Florida, where the legal age of consent is 18.

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“Because if I am understanding you there—and I am definitely not—Epstein wasn’t into 8-year-olds. He was just into very young teens who could pass for even younger while also to passers-by still somehow managing to look legal,” Oliver said. “And you felt this was an important legal distinction to bring up to your ‘Yes, and’-ing friend here.”

The woman in the clip nodding and agreeing with Kelly was NewsNation host Batya Ungar-Sargon.

“Look, I am clearly no stranger to sharing upsetting numbers with my audience, but please do kill me if I ever start doing pedophile math,” Oliver said.

One of Epstein’s emails on Feb. 8, 2017, to Larry Summers, the former president of Harvard University, revealed that Epstein, convicted in 2008 for procuring a child for prostitution, and who died in his cell in 2019 while awaiting trial on additional sex trafficking charges, thought President Trump was “dangerous.”

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Epstein wrote to Summers that of all the people he knew, there were “none as bad as” Trump, adding, “not one decent cell in his body.”

“When even the guy running the Pervert Express to Crime Island thinks that you are a d---, that has got to sting,” Oliver said. “I know that Trump seems to be immune to shame. But c’mon! At some point, he’s going to look at himself in the mirror, and even if briefly, think: ‘None as bad as me?!’ Captain Freak of the Floating Sex Dungeon thinks I am the worst? F---, that is rough.’”

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Sean L. McCarthy

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