NOT LOOKING GOOD

‘SNL’ Skewers Trump’s Desperate Epstein Distraction Tactics

James Austin Johnson’s Trump is running out of excuses.

The latest Saturday Night Live cold open dived right into the big story of the week: 20,000 Jeffrey Epstein emails were released by the House Oversight Committee, and many of them mentioned President Donald Trump by name.

The cold open featured Trump (played once again by James Austin Johnson) crashing a press conference on C-SPAN to answer journalists’ questions.

One journalist (played by Kenan Thompson) asked, “Even Trump’s biggest supporters think that he should release the Epstein files. What does Trump have to hide?”

Trump answered, “I am hiding almost nothing. Just enough to make it extremely suspicious.”

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The president continued, “But let me ask you a question. If there was something incriminating about me in the files, then why would I cover them up?”

When the journalist pointed out that this is exactly what he’d do, Trump tried another excuse.

“OK, let me go again: If I was innocent, wouldn’t I just release all the files?” Trump said.

Thompson’s reporter once again answered, frustrated, “Yes!”

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Trump made his third attempt to downplay the scandal, arguing, “Jeffrey Epstein, I barely knew the guy, OK?”

He continued, “As evidenced by the thousands of pictures of us together dancing and grinding our teeth at various parties, always leering and pointing at something just off-camera, probably a book we’re excited to read.”

One of the Epstein emails released Wednesday explicitly stated that Trump “knew about the girls,” while another described him as the “dog that hasn’t barked.”

Another document that went viral Friday was a 2018 email from Epstein apparently joking that Russian President Vladimir Putin possessed “the photos of Trump blowing Bubba.” Bubba appears to be a reference to former president Bill Clinton.

SNL’s Trump referenced the “Bubba” email, saying, “We love that one. Whatever the hell that means.”

SNL‘s Trump also praised right-wing pundit Megyn Kelly for her controversial comments Thursday, when she seemed to downplay Epstein’s crimes by clarifying that he’s not technically a pedophile because the girls he trafficked weren’t pre-pubescent.

“I thought Megyn Kelly made a terrific point this week,” Trump declared. “She said, ‘Epstein’s not a pedophile.’ Terrific thing to just say out of nowhere.”

“Great job, Megyn,” Trump added. “We love Megyn. They should put her back on TV. Legalize Megyn!”

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