LITERARY LUST

Jacob Elordi Body Pillows and Other ‘Wuthering Heights’-Inspired Sex Gifts for Peak Romantic Escapism

Happy Valentine’s Day, yearners—from our Jacobi Elordi body pillow, to yours.

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Move over, Wicked product marketing team. The new, so-loosely-adapted-it’s-in-air-quotes Wuthering Heights film lands in theaters Feb. 12 on the brooding coattails of collabs designed to feed the senses. There’s a come-hither Bloomingdale’s edit filled with Slip brand silk eye masks, Lollia brand bubble bath vials, and even underwear (me, celebrate V-Day? Not without my Wuthering Heights x Hanky Panky thong). There’s even a “Dead Sexy” TokyoMilk perfume, and what I can only describe as a robust, melodramatic cookie box from Crumbl. Trisha Paytas, if you’re reading this: please cosplay vlog about the Burning Desire chocolate lava cookie. The internet thanks you in advance.

Love it, hate it, or love-hate it (how Emily Brontë of you), director Emerald Fennell’s film is both visually sumptuous and wildly kinky. Expect furry red walls worthy of the Madonna Inn, corsets in bodices and hair styles galore, and a dash of BDSM puppy- and horseplay.

As the film’s production designer, Suzie Davies, told Architectural Digest, “the whole film has a feel of moisture throughout it,” with sparkling beads evocative of sweat on the walls and the mists of the Moors ever present. It’s no wonder one of the most head-turning Wuthering Heights collabs is a lube and massage candle bundle from Maude.

Grab your Jacob Elordi body pillow, and let’s shop for the best kinky accessories, couples sex toys, and intimacy gifts that speak to the new levels of gooning yearning that have been unleashed by this film.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

Maude

$60

Maude Come Undone Kit

Maude is the chic sexual wellness brand helmed by Dakota Johnson, and its “Come Undone” bundle combines its Oil No. 1 body and bath oil with what is hands down my favorite massage candle, the Burn No. 3. Unlike so many sensual massage candles, Maude’s creations have a versatile, botanical, and earthy scent profile (think, musk, amber, vetiver, sandalwood) that compares to the sensation of walking into a lush greenhouse. Finally, to truly wuther your loved one’s heights, the bundle comes with an exclusive movie poster and booklet.

Shop At Maude

Shop Now Maude

Lovehoney

$109

We-Vibe X Lovehoney Sync Go

If smartphones existed in Victorian England, Catherine and Heathcliff sure could have benefited from a long-distance couple’s vibrator. This matte black clitoral and G-spot vibrator from We-Vibe x Lovehoney allows you to control its vibrations from anywhere in the world via the We-Vibe app. You can even sync the vibes to your music, so let the new Charli XCX ‘Wuthering Heights’ album rip.

Shop At Lovehoney

Shop At We-Vibe

Pink Cherry

$10

Ouch! Feather Crop in Black

Expect lots of unbridled, kinky horseplay and passionate galloping in Fennell’s Wuthering Heights. This double-ended riding crop is on sale for under $10 for Valentine’s Day, and also features a fluffy, feather tip for when you want a softer touch.

Shop At Pink Cherry

Lovehoney

$80

Lovehoney Satin Silhouette Black Corset

Another gem from Lovehoney’s V-Day lineup, this corset is the kind of lingerie you can wear for a spicy moment with your situationship, or layer under a boxy blazer for a night out at The Box in New York City (or on the Moors with Jacob Elordi).

Shop At Lovehoney

Lovehoney

$15

Lovehoney Furry Handcuffs

These fluffy, red cuffs are a nod to the red-hot, faux fur-lined halls of the film’s Thrushcross Grange location. They’re kinky, a little silly, and a great intro to the world of BDSM toys for you and your angsty lover.

Shop At Lovehoney

Etsy

$20+

Jacob Elordi Pillow

For nights when you crave brooding devotion but not the emotional labor. This Jacob Elordi body pillow delivers ‘Wuthering Heights’–level longing without the windburn or tragic backstory. Plus, he won’t ghost you, argue on the moors, or die dramatically.

Shop At Etsy

Happy yearning, folks.

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MaryFrances “Francky” KnappFreelance Contributor

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