YOU’RE HIRED!

Trump Reveals ‘Best’ Person to Take Karoline Leavitt’s Job

The president has made an on-brand choice for a key role.

President Donald Trump has made a fitting choice to replace outgoing White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt.

Leavitt, 28, is stepping down from the mouthpiece role to spend more time with her two young children and husband Nicholas Riccio, 60.

An array of Trump acolytes have been linked to the position, including CNN’s regular conservative pundit Scott Jennings, whose possible hiring has sown dissent in MAGA ranks.

But Trump, 80, used one of his trademark late-night Truth Social AI slop dumps to suggest his preferred candidate for Leavitt’s role: himself.

Posting at 11:34 p.m Thursday, Trump shared an image of himself addressing the media with the bonkers caption “The Best Press Secretary.”

As with many AI images Trump has flooded his feed with, the picture flatters him, making him look younger and smoother.

The president employed a more extreme version of the AI tactics earlier this month, giving himself a major digital glow-up in a golfing photo with Gary Player.

OLD WOUNDS

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Trump wasn’t done serving up AI slop before bedtime. He shared a photo of his cursed Reflecting Pool, which remains closed for repairs.

The imaginary version included a sketch of Trump’s side profile seemingly added to the bottom of his “American flag blue” water feature.

Trump’s own MAGA prosecutor Jeanine Pirro admitted that damage to the Washington landmark was caused by the president’s own contractor—and not “evil” vandals, as he had previously claimed.

A new sign placed on fences around the botched pool now blames previous governments for the monument being closed to tourists.

LEAVITT OUT

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While the notices still claim some areas were “damaged by vandals,” the signs also declare: “Since 1922, prior administrations have neglected this iconic national landmark, evidenced most recently by more than half of the pool pipes being clogged and the sidewalks and granite coping stones being filthy dirty.”

The sleep-dodging octogenarian president also found time to generate another fake image casting himself in action hero mode.

The president referenced his latest “TACO Trump” moment, backtracking on tariffs due to be placed on Canada, by using AI to bring his claim that the Keystone XL pipeline “may be awoken from the grave!” to life.

The oil pipeline, which would connect Alberta to the U.S., was blocked by both the Obama and Biden administrations and has been opposed by environmentalists and indigenous groups.

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COMING AT THEM

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Trump said in a Truth Social post this week that the pipeline was “long ago killed by Sleepy Joe Biden,” and that reviving the project means it could carry 830,000 barrels of oil a day.

The AI image saw a fake Trump pulling an oil pipe out of the ground, next to a gravestone that read “Buried by Biden.”

The president also gave himself an ego boost before bedtime as part of his four posts within 10 minutes.

Trump shared an oil painting-style digital rendering of himself walking down a White House corridor, with no sign of his usual ailments, including bruised hands and swollen ankles.

The Daily Beast has contacted the White House for comment.

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