CRAZY UNCLE ELON

Trump Officials Growing Tired of ‘Unfunny’ and ‘Irritating’ Musk

“He’s just the most irritating person I’ve ever had to deal with, and that is saying something,” one official reportedly said.

White House officials are struggling to hide their disdain for Elon Musk’s “irritating” behavior, with senior Cabinet members said to be “deeply annoyed” by the DOGE chief’s painful sense of humor.

“I have been in the same room with Elon, and he always tries to be funny. And he’s not funny. Like, at all,” a senior Trump administration official told Rolling Stone. “He makes these jokes and little asides and smiles and then looks almost hurt if you don’t lap up his humor. I keep using the word ‘annoying’; a lot of people who have to deal with him do.

“But the word doesn’t do the situation justice,” they added. “Elon just thinks he’s smarter than everyone else in the room and acts like it, even when it’s clear he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

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Musk’s insufferable behavior has caused several high-ranking officials to walk out of important meetings and sincerely question if he was high on drugs, the publication reports, while Secretary of State Marco Rubio is said to be barely able to hide his immense dislike of the DOGE chief and State Department officials routinely call him “Crazy Uncle Elon” behind his back.

“Talking to the guy is sometimes like listening to really rusty nails on a chalkboard,” the White House insider claimed. “He’s just the most irritating person I’ve ever had to deal with, and that is saying something.”

Other officials have suggested subjecting Musk to a mandatory drug test, which he has said is a “great idea” for federal employees, as a way to push him out of the door. The Tesla CEO has denied taking any illegal drugs, although numerous people claim to have witnessed him use LSD, cocaine, Ecstasy, and mushrooms behind closed doors, the Wall Street Journal reports.

(An attorney for Musk said he is “regularly and randomly drug-tested at SpaceX and has never failed a test.”)

Further irritation has arisen over Musk’s decision to install Starlink internet terminals across the White House campus, and the degree to which his “nerd army” of DOGE staffers, many of whom are in their early 20s, have become embedded within government agencies and routinely threaten to “call Elon” if their demands are not met.

In February, DOGE lackey Chris Stanley became embroiled in a standoff with a Secret Service agent after he tripped a silent alarm while installing a Starlink terminal on the roof of the White House, while others have been accused of asking extremely specific questions about highly-classified material and using AI to monitor communications channels for anti-Musk sentiment.

“Why do these f---ing kids know this?” a DoD employee asked in bewilderment when asked about a top secret plan to build a space defense system known as the Golden Dome, according to Rolling Stone.

Musk meanwhile, an unelected “special government employee,” has set up an office for himself in the Eisenhower Executive Building on the White House complex, across from the West Wing, and next to the office of the vice president.

According to The Times, the DOGE chief has installed a “massive” TV and a gaming PC in the room which he uses to play video games, and is said to “hole up” in the government building for days at a time, sometimes sleeping on the couch or at his desk.

His young son, four-year-old X Æ A-Xii, is also “around quite a bit,” although it is unclear if he also sleeps at the office when not pestering the president during press conferences at the Oval Office.

But while the trappings of office have mostly insulated Musk from in-person criticism, online is a different story. A recent attempt to livestream the game Path of Exile 2 while onboard a jet saw the billionaire mercilessly trolled by dozens of accounts who spammed him with messages such as “YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE” and “YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL INSECURE AND IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY.”

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Meanwhile, a February order demanding all federal employees message him “5 bullets of what you accomplished last week” or be fired saw his government email leaked to the public, resulting in a cavalcade of “very rude” pranks and extremely graphic scatological replies, according to a report by Rolling Stone.

“I know Elon probably won’t see it, but I really hope he sees it,” said a former former government employee, right after emailing the billionaire a picture of someone’s behind and resigning from their role.

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