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Trump ICE Goon’s Résumé Mocked Across Capitol Hill

The ICE director nominee calls himself a “devoted and loyal father”—despite being accused of failing to pay child support.

Donald Trump’s embattled pick to lead ICE has been mocked after describing himself as a “devoted” family man on a cringeworthy résumé that emerged after he was accused of failing to pay child support.

Richard “Lance” Schroyer, 54, was picked by Trump, 80, on June 27 to run the president’s mass-deportation machine—pending a Senate confirmation grilling expected imminently—amid growing concern he is unqualified for the job.

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And the former Oklahoma state trooper—who counts Department of Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin, 48, among his pals—is not being helped by his own boasts, which have caused mirth among lawmakers and congressional staffers who have read it.

The résumé, obtained by PunchUp, lists among its “Highlights of Special Achievements” that Schroyer is a “Devoted and loyal father, husband, and friend.”

That claim is now all the more awkward after The Oklahoman reported that Schroyer’s second wife took him to court in 2021. Court filings reviewed by the Daily Beast’s new sister investigations Substack allege he “never made a child support payment” in the four-plus years he was ordered to hand over $304.37 a month for their kids as part of their divorce. She dropped the case the following year and wrote off the money owed.

It is the rest of the résumé that is causing the real hilarity. The document, the existence of which was first reported by the Daily Mail, has been doing the rounds in D.C. Lawmakers and officials from the Trump administration have been sharing it and “laughing” at some of its boasts, sources told PunchUp.

Top of the list is Schroyer’s brag that he “successfully implemented plans” for major events including “the 2024 Solar Eclipse.” Close behind is the 2018 Oklahoma teachers’ walkout, a nine-day strike the nominee rates so highly it features three times. It is cited as evidence he is a “highly effective communicator” and a “meticulous planning and logistical coordinator.”

Elsewhere, the résumé hails him as a “dynamic leader in volatile and uncertain conditions” and a “creative problem-solver,” for his work on the 2019 Muskogee floods and Hurricane Katrina and Rita. It also records his stint as “Incident Commander” for patrol operations during “the NBA playoffs and the Championship parade in Oklahoma City,” working on the 2014 NFL Super Bowl, and his time as a K9 dog trainer.

An immigration source said: “If you’re qualified to lead an agency like ICE, you should at least pay child support and not have to cite old Super Bowls, weather events or teacher walkouts from ages ago—you should say you’re out there enforcing the law properly.”

The source said people “don’t care what flood you went through,” but asked: “Are you qualified to lead ICE at a critical time? It’s unheard of.”

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They added: “Any lawmaker who has seen his résumé and its frankly embarrassing contents is laughing at how bad it is.”

Schroyer’s new role will see him manage a budget of tens of billions of dollars, and an agency under fire over its violent tactics that have led to multiple deaths this year, including four in the past two weeks alone.

There is a numbers problem, too. Announcing the pick on Truth Social, Trump bragged that “Lance has over 29 YEARS of Law Enforcement experience in Oklahoma.” The top of Schroyer’s own résumé claims “Twenty-seven years.” And the biggest force the document credits him with coordinating—“over 150 troopers”—is tiny in comparison to a sprawling nationwide agency whose workforce runs to the tens of thousands.

The résumé also spells out how he landed the gig. Listed among his duties as a highway patrol major is “Security Detail Leader for Sen. Markwayne Mullin”—the former Oklahoma senator who now runs DHS, and who Schroyer states in his résumé that he’s been acting as an adviser to this year.

As PunchUp reported, Mullin pushed his former bodyguard for the ICE job over the heads of furious insiders now warning of mass retirements.

Schroyer, a former Marine sergeant who retired from the highway patrol as a major on May 9, is due before Senator Rand Paul’s Homeland Security committee imminently. Paul, 63, chairs the panel that will decide whether he becomes the first ICE director to clear the Senate since early 2017.

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Reggie Callins, a retired trooper who served alongside Schroyer for years, told The Oklahoman his old friend “can sell just about anything, especially himself.”

The Daily Beast has contacted the White House, the Department of Homeland Security, ICE, and Schroyer for comment. They did not respond.

Tom Latchem exposes the secrets, scandals, and stories that powerful people and institutions want to keep under wraps. Follow all of his reporting at PunchUp on Substack.

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Tom LatchemLead Global Correspondent

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