SHAMELESSNESS

Stephen Colbert Attacks CBS—His Own Network—Over Mick Mulvaney Hire

The “Late Show” host was none too pleased that CBS News had hired the former Trump minion—or “craven toady to a tyrant”—as a contributor.

This week, CBS News announced it had hired Mick Mulvaney, who served as the budget director and chief of staff under former President Trump, as its newest contributor.

“Recently, my network has gotten a lot of criticism—much of it from itself—because CBS News has hired the ex-president’s former chief of staff Mick Mulvaney to ‘provide political analysis across the network’s broadcasts and platforms,’” explained Mulvaney’s network-mate, Stephen Colbert, on Thursday night’s Late Show.

The late-night host then stared directly into the camera and exclaimed, “What the fuck?!”

Many have objected to Mulvaney’s cushy CBS News gig given that during his Trump administration tenure, Mulvaney proudly admitted that Trump had engaged in quid pro quo with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky over Biden family dirt; called COVID-19 the media “hoax of the day” in February 2020 despite Congress being briefed on its dangers a month prior; dumped hundreds of thousands of dollars in stock in March 2020, while Trump was telling Americans the economy was in great shape and COVID didn’t pose much of a threat; and penned a Wall Street Journal op-ed promising that should Trump lose the 2020 election, he would concede gracefully.

“I, for one, can’t wait to hear Mulvaney’s trenchant and objective political analysis,” joked Colbert, adding of the former official’s awful predictions, “Is Mick Mulvaney psychic? Get this man to Vegas! He’s Nostra-dumbass!”

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Colbert continued: “So, obviously I’m just joking, but why would the Tiffany Network’s venerable news division put this craven toady to a tyrant on their payroll?”

According to a piece in The Washington Post, a top CBS News executive said they hired Mulvaney “to make sure that we are getting access to both sides of the aisle... because we know the Republicans are going to take over, most likely, in the midterms.”

“That’s right! They’re not just reporting the news anymore, they’re predicting it now!” cracked Colbert. “And reworking our programming in the hopes of cozying up the GOP, so get ready for our new spring lineup: Young QShaman, Bob Restricts the Reproductive Rights of Abishola, and… Blue Bloods.”

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