Rickey Smiley: My Late Son Is My Hero
No one should ever have to know the pain of losing their child. But my departed son continues to inspire me, even now.
Photo Illustration by Elizabeth Brockway/The Daily Beast/Photo courtesy of Rickey Smiley
My son and eldest child, Brandon, lost his long battle with addiction to painkillers last January at the age of 32. Sadly, he’s one of the thousands of young people that succumbed to drug addiction in the past year. And it’s difficult to grasp that my son is part of a tragic statistic.
Brandon was one of the first true loves of my life. From him I learned an abundance of important qualities: how to be more patient, how to love deeply, and how to be more affectionate. He showed me that we must keep pushing ahead in life—no matter what.
I am inspired by how hard my son always tried. He was always open about his struggle and worked tirelessly to overcome it. My own father had his battles with addiction, and while I know the disease can be hereditary, I was hoping that it would spare my children.
Even as he struggled, Brandon always tried to move forward. One month and a half before Brandon passed away, he got baptized. It was a meaningful commitment to connect deeply with his faith—and to summon as much internal strength as possible. Faith has been key in my own life and has helped me weather life’s unpredictable storms. I was so proud that my son was tapping into the power that prayer can bring.
Brandon went to rehab many times—he was always willing to do the hard work to try to get well. But as any loved one suffering from addiction knows, it was a difficult cycle—he would get clean and then relapse again. It was back and forth all the time. The ups and downs took a toll on me, as I’m sure it did for him.
I so admired his kindness and thoughtfulness no matter what he was going through.
Brandon was always a devoted caretaker to his three half-siblings: sisters D’Essence (25), Aaryn (21), and brother Malik (21). They looked up to him and he showered them with constant love and attention. He was also working hard to be a good father to his three-year-old daughter, Storm, and was still performing standup comedy (I truly learned the art of sarcasm from him!).
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When I define what a hero is, I envision someone who lights up a room and thinks about themselves before others; someone who is hard-working and brings joy to so many people. Brandon was that and so much more.
He is the hero that lights my way through life every day and will do so for the rest of my life.
You can view the complete Heroes 2023 series here.
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