BILLSBOARD!

Revealing the Big Name Behind The 5 Worst Dow Jones Freefalls

No prizes for guessing who presided over the worst five days in Wall Street history.

Hello again and welcome to the Top 5 Worst Dow Jones Plunges in American History. My name is David Gardner, professional impersonator and Daily Beast reporter, filling in for Casey Kasem.

One big debut on the list today after another record-breaker yesterday—and they’re all going in One Direction: down.

Before we get into the big moves rocking the markets, I’d like to say a big thank you to Fed Chair Jerome Powell for keeping us on a roll with his dedication to investors. He wants you all to know that higher prices and weaker growth lie ahead.

First, a quick recap. In at number five yesterday was a new entry from the biggest mover and shaker on the list. Without giving too much away, he’s back today with a bullet.

NUMBER 6

Bubbling under at No. 6 on the chart, we have a surprise hit from yesterday. He didn’t promise us a Rose Garden, but DONALD TRUMP did give us a 1,679 drop on the Dow Jones Industrial Average that had the nation up and dancing on the graves of their 401ks.

Now, let’s get into the biggest hits in history.

Are you ready?

NUMBER 5

Going back in time for this one. It’s an oldie but a baddie. Down 1,861.82 points on June 11, 2020, was our 45th President of the United States.

He can’t sing, but boy can he dance: DONALD TRUMP.

NUMBER 4

Another COVID cracker. Down 2,013.76 points like a shot on March 9, 2020. Holy cow, Batman. It was our 45th president back with a crash. Falling from fifth place to number 4.

If he were on The Apprentice, he’d have to fire himself. Yes, it’s DONALD TRUMP.

NUMBER 3

Our first big new entry. It’s a tariff-ic hit that keeps on giving. Down 2,231.07 points and straight in at number 3. All the cool kids on Wall Street are talking about it. What’s that? You wanna know what they’re saying? I’ll tell you: “TGIF.”

Yes, it’s the old swinger himself, our 47th president, coming straight from the 19th hole in Palm Beach: DONALD TRUMP everybody.

We’re getting down to the sharp end of the decline. It can only go down from here.

NUMBER 2

It’s another major milestone for the man who always wants to be the Leader of the Pack. And he did it again on March 12, 2020. Down 2,352.60 points. We like to call it the Pandemic Panic.

Holding tight at No. 2 is, yes, you guessed it, our 45th President, DONALD TRUMP.

This is it, folks.

NUMBER 1

In the top spot for the 1,481th day in a row is our biggest hit of all time. Crash, bang, wallop! Nobody Does it Better.

It was a mammoth 2997.10-point drop on March 16, 2020. It was the greatest ever drop. Very great.

He holds a record number of golf championships at his West Palm Beach International and all top 5 places in the DJ Drop index. He’s Making America Poor Again, he’s America’s Biggest (Stocks) Loser. He is DONALD TRUMP.

He’s the first president ever to drop 1,500 points on the Dow Jones two days in a row. What a guy!

IN THE ROUGH

CNN Blasts Trump for Golfing as Markets Melt Down: ‘Now?!’

Nandika Chatterjee

I’m David Gardner. Join me on Monday when, again, we’ll count down the five worst Dow Jones drops in the USA. Until then, Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

(And whatever you do, don’t call your broker!)

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David GardnerChief National Correspondent

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