WIPED OUT

‘Daily Show’ Exposes Real Culprit Behind ‘Forever Diarrhea’ Parasite Outbreak

Michael Kosta connected the dots between the Trump administration and the explosive new outbreak.

The Daily Show thinks it knows who to blame for the explosive diarrhea parasite plaguing the U.S.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reported up to 7,000 cases of a fast-spreading illness called cyclosporiasis across the United States since the outbreak began in May.

While the intestinal disease has led to zero reported deaths, it does cause long-lasting, “explosive” bowel movements, as well as nausea, cramps, bloating, and low-grade fever.

And while health officials in Michigan on Tuesday identified salad greens like lettuce as the “potential source” of a fast-spreading illness called cyclosporiasis, Michael Kosta, recurring host of The Daily Show, has another culprit in mind.

“I guess I’ll be grocery shopping at the gas station until the CDC gets a handle on cyclospora,” Kosta said in his monologue on Wednesday. “By the way, why hasn’t the CDC gotten a handle on the cyclospora?”

Kosta shared a montage of various news channels reporting that the Trump administration had significantly cut funding to the CDC in 2025, lowering the agency’s ability to identify parasitic outbreaks early on and help contain them.

“Hmm okay, let me see if I can track this,” said Kosta. “We cut the funding for the program that tracks Forever Diarrhea and now people are getting Forever Diarrhea. Let me see if I can figure this out...”

Kosta stared off into deep thought as complex math equations floated around his face.

“I don’t see any connection,” he jokingly concluded.

DRY SUMMER

Trump Health Cuts Spark Concerns Over ‘Flesh-Eating’ Bacteri

Tomas Thor

As part of Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s many changes to the agency in 2025, the CDC’s Foodborne Diseases Active Surveillance Network cut back its required monitoring of certain pathogens, making cyclospora reporting from state health departments optional instead of mandatory.

The Food and Drug Administration, which inspects food products for potential contamination, has also suffered layoffs and budget cuts under Kennedy’s run.

While the 2026 outbreak is not directly proven to be the result of the Trump administration’s cuts and changes to the CDC, health experts have warned that the changes have made Americans less safe.

“Unfortunately with so many budget cuts, every federal agency is hurting for personnel and resources,” infection disease specialist Linda Yancey told Time Magazine. “We could be at a greater risk of foodborne infections because the FDA is so understaffed and underfunded right now.”

Kosta also ripped into the Trump administration for cutting funds to the CDC while spending billions on the war in Iran.

“Well America, I’m sorry to say, but the money it takes to blow up Iran is the reason we’re blowing up our own bathrooms,” Kosta said.

“It’s like how our grandparents grew their own crops to support the troops during World War II, except our version of this is power-washing the toilet with our butthole,” he joked.

Kosta concluded, “So when you hit week three of hell squirts, remember: you’re doing it for Uncle Sam.”

Obsessed with pop culture and entertainment? Follow us on Substack and YouTube for even more coverage.

Michael Boyle

Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.