MISTAKEN IDENTITY

North Carolina County’s Attempt to Boycott Woke Coke Backfires

Surry County officials confused the beverage giant with a local vending machine company that employs local residents.

After a North Carolina county banned Coke vending machines in an attempt to “push back” on the company for opposing changes in Georgia’s voting laws, it emerged that the machines weren’t even owned by The Coca-Cola Co. A rep for the similarly named Coca-Cola Consolidated, which owns the machines, appeared before Surry County commissioners on Monday to point out that they are actually a company headquartered in Charlotte, with a facility in Surry County that employs 37 local people. “There is a long list of companies that spoke up about the Georgia legislation… The one company that was not on that list was my company, Coca-Cola Consolidated. Yet we’re the only ones that appear to have been impacted in Surry County on that issue,” said company VP of governmental affairs Alison Patient.

Several residents also slammed the idiotic attempt at standing up to the woke brigade. “Quite frankly, if you sit on the Board of Commissioners for Surry County and you would refuse any company to bring economic development to our county, you are a moron,” one resident said. Local officials eventually decided to rescind the original vote.