MARGARITAVILLE

Keystone Kash Melts Down and Agrees to Take Drinking ‘Audit’

The FBI director exploded with anger over reports of excessive drinking and unexplained absences.

Kash Patel agreed to take an “audit” test after denying reports of excessive drinking and unexplained absences while serving as Donald Trump’s FBI chief.

Patel exploded in anger after Democratic Party Senator Chris Van Hollen raised the claims in a congressional hearing on Tuesday.

The FBI director said he “unequivocally and categorically” refuted the allegations and denied ever drinking on the job or being involved in situations when his staff was unable to contact him.

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Van Hollen challenged Patel to take an “audit” test to prove his drinking denial.

“Are you willing to take a test that’s called the audit test that members of our active duty military and others take to determine whether they have a drinking problem?” he asked.

“I’ll take any test that you’re willing to take.”

“Let’s go,” said Patel. “Let’s go side by side.”

Patel has reportedly ordered dozens of lie detector tests for his staff to try and identify leakers following a report that claimed he’s alienating staff with wild boozing.

Asked about the reports, Patel said: “The FBI conducts polygraph tests all the time.”

He angrily accused the senator of leveling the media reports against him during a hearing of the Senate Oversight Committee.

When Van Hollen said he was not directly accusing Patel, but referencing the stories, the FBI director snapped: “You are literally saying it.”

He then accused Van Hollen of drinking margaritas with gang members—a reference to when the senator visited deported Maryland resident Kilmar Abrego Garcia in El Salvador.

Van Hollen later accused the Salvadoran government of plotting to embarrass him by placing what appeared to be salt-rimmed margarita glasses on the table during a meeting between the two men. The senator claimed he was the victim of a setup and deception organized by President Nayib Bukele, an ally of Donald Trump.

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Van Hollen asked Patel: Have there been occasions when your security detail had difficulty waking or locating you?"

“Nope, it’s a total farce,” replied Patel. “I don’t know where you even get this stuff. The only person that was slinging margaritas in El Salvador on the taxpayer dollar with a convicted gangbanging rapist was you.”

Patel also accused Van Hollen of running up a $7,000 bar tab in Washington, D.C., and called the senator the “ultimate example of hypocrisy.”

“Actually, that’s a false statement and I am asking you about your statements,” said Van Hollen.

Patel also insisted that the FBI has not targeted journalists.

“I am deeply concerned about the reports that your leadership has not been serious,” said Senator Patty Murray, the committee vice chair. “We need somebody on this agency who is focused on solving criminal cases, not passing out branded bourbon or jetting around the globe. Your job is to be reachable... if you want to pass out liquor or pop bottles in a locker room, stick to podcasting.”

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