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Jon Stewart Breaks Bad News to Trump: ‘Biden’s Not Coming Back’

“It’s like seeing an old man talking to an empty spot on the bench,” Stewart mused about the former president.

It’s been three weeks since President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 election and endorsed Kamala Harris, and Donald Trump still doesn’t seem to have made peace with it.

“A month ago, he was basically already the president,” Stewart remarked in his Monday monologue. “He had cheated death, started a new ear accessory trend. Back then, people thought his VP selection was a smart choice. He had it all in the bag, and it was taken away.”

The recurring Daily Show host recounted Trump’s recent campaign fumbles, from his “Kamabla” nickname attempt to his false story about a near-crash in a helicopter with former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown. Stewart also played clips of Trump’s rallies before and after Biden’s departure, and was disappointed that Trump’s rhetoric had barely changed.

“Look man, if you want us to genuinely fear your opponent as the existential threat you’d like to make them out to be, you’re going to have to do better than boilerplate, cut-and-paste s---,” Stewart advised. “You’re better than this, Donald.”

Stewart continued, “I hate to say it: I don’t think Trump has got it in him to go after Kamala Harris. He’s been fighting Joe Biden for six years… It’s like seeing an old man talking to an empty spot on the bench, and then you realize: That’s where his wife used to sit.”

Stewart spent the final segment of his monologue breaking the harsh truth to Trump about Biden: “He’s not coming back, Donald. Hey, you know how I know he’s not coming back? We have a camera on him. That’s him. He’s just sitting there at the beach, having an Arnold Palmer.”

Stewart jokingly conceded that, although it sure seems like Biden’s ready to enjoy his retirement, there’s still hope that Trump could turn things around.

“Kamala Harris accepts the nomination next Thursday night, which means it may be time to get the gang together,” Stewart said. “Storm the convention. Pull an August 22nd, this time on behalf of Joe Biden.”

Stewart added, “All you need is thousands of supporters who have not yet been sent to jail for being part of the last mob. Or who got sent to jail so early in the process they’re already out.”

“If only there was a sign of the righteousness of this cause,” Stewart mused, before sharing the recent news that the so-called “QAnon Shaman” Jacob Chansley, who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6, was having his helmet and spear returned to him by the government.

“Shaman, don thy fur helmet!” Stewart declared. “We ride on! For Biden!”

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